


Giver of Life

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Childbirth, Gen, Pregnancy, Teen Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, she didnt want a baby she just wanted a sandwich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 09:21:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8885455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: As the Maid of Life, Jane’s role was always to give life. She didn’t expect that to be quite so literal, however, and discovers a bit too late what her role truly entailed.
(roughish drabble from 2am, enjoy)





	

You aren’t quite sure how this happened. Somehow, 9 months ago, something had happened, you’re not sure how, or why you didn’t notice until long past the remedy date, but here you are.

Your name is Jane Crocker, and you are 9 months pregnant.

You found out 3 months ago, you have absolutely no idea how you managed to avoid noticing for so long. Maybe it was because you were already quite fat to begin with, so a more pudgy tummy didn’t seem too off to you. The morning sickness bothered you a bit, but your dad just told you to shrug it off, so you did. It was only when you felt an unexplainable painless squeeze from within is when your dad finally took you to get an ultrasound.

You’re just a little baffled at how this could possibly have happened. No, scratch that, a LOT baffled. You only know two boys your age, and both are gay, across the country, dating each other already, and one of them lives 300 years in the future. So, unless your dad is the culprit, which you pray to the lords he isn’t, this all should be impossible. It’s absolutely ridiculous, even, most days you can’t even believe that you just Virgin Mary’d it up and got pregnant despite never even seeing a penis in real life, let alone having one inside of you. All you can think of is the possibility that one of the assassins broke in one night and screwed you in your sleep. You’re a pretty deep sleeper, after all.

You feel the baby kick again from inside your swollen womb, and groan as you go to relieve yourself. Again. This is the third time today it’s kicked, you wish it would stop kicking. Feisty little bugger. The baby is due any day now, you really wish it would hurry up so you can dump it on your dad and run away somewhere.

After the initial “how could you let this happen, I raised you smarter than this, blah blah blah etc etc etc” lecture, your dad has been off the wall excited about his upcoming grandchild. You’re sure he won’t mind if you let him do all the baby care duties for you. He seems pretty willing.

After relieving yourself, you pull your pants back up as high as they can go with your swollen stomach, and make your way back downstairs to get some lunch. You aren’t the hungriest, but you could really go for a turkey sandwich right about now. You open the fridge and feel another kick, as well as… Oh, great, you just got off of the toilet. Good gravy. You yell to your dad to ask him to bring you a new pair of pants, and he comes bolting down the steps, unfortunately with no new pair of pants for you. Before you can even get the lunch meat out, you find yourself being whisked into his car and driven off somewhere.

As you’ve well learned, you have to duck down in the car when you’re going somewhere. Those darn assassins sure love to shoot through windows. So, you do just that, and lay down on the seat instead of buckling your belt. Some odd, blurry minutes later, your dad drives into the hospital parking lot and hurriedly gets you up and out of the backseat. You feel something trying to come out of you, and oblivious you finally realizes whats going on. Ah-duh, of course you’re giving birth. Stupid.

He rushes you into the emergency room, yells that you’re giving birth, and two nurses whisk you off somewhere before you get a chance to blink. They make you put on a hospital gown, and then lay you down on a bed. They tell you to push, and you do, as you feel something wet and smooth start to slide through your uterus. Everything is happening too fast for you to even comprehend, all you wanted was a turkey sandwich.

A lot of pushing, a bit of pain relief, and some odd minutes later, you feel it come out of you and into the nurse’s hands. You lay your head back and listen to it wail, as the nurse coos at it. You feel another sharp pain as the umbilical cord is severed, and you close your eyes and try to catch your breath. It was unbelievably painful and terrifying to try and push that sucker out, but you’re so glad it's over.

After you catch your breath and the pain finally slows to a crawl, you decide to open your eyes and look at your new child, caressed gently in the nurse’s arms.

A new little baby boy.


End file.
